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Grief is a process that arises when you have lost a loved one, however, that process can be more difficult to overcome and take a long time when it comes to loss of a child.
On our site we try to help you if you are a grieving mother and you have to face the terrible moment of your son's death.
Being in a period of mourning means having to recover from many different emotions, not just sadness and that is why it is vital to know what she is going through without judging her. When a mother loses a child, listen to a lot of advice, there is no single way to deal with something like this, and it is possible that many mothers never get to face it if they do not have certain strategies that allow them to overcome it.
Many times, family or friends do not know how to react either and try to encourage the person or try to empathize with him without much result, since only people who have gone through a similar process can come closer to understanding it. The most important thing is to be aware of specific needs of each person and thus be able to offer them a solution. Therefore, today we offer you certain keys that may help you to overcome that duel or someone you know who is going through a similar situation:
- Talk about it, don't shut yourself up in your pain: On many occasions, most mothers who go through something like this tend to avoid talking about it so as not to feel that intense pain that overwhelms them. Some are already mothers and want to be good for their children and others are simply not ready to open that emotional door. However, isolation and avoidance can never be a solution. That does not mean that you should force the person to speak up or that you have to talk about the loss without respecting their wishes. In these cases, it is better to listen to the person who is grieving. On many occasions, no matter how inexplicable it may be, we can blame ourselves or get angry for what happened both with us and with the rest of the people around us. Therefore, it is best to speak naturally about each of these feelings. It is possible that others have not gone through your situation, but surely your partner, friends or family have experienced pain, anger or sadness and hearing how they have overcome it, perhaps it will give you a key to be able to face it yourself and help you to manage those emotions you feel in these difficult moments for which no one is prepared. Accepting your emotions and living them, even if they hurt, helps to overcome it and makes the person manage to evolve without getting stuck in any emotion permanently.
- Find a space that allows you to remember it without pain: After losing a child, many people manage to rebuild their lives and some feel guilty for living or even having other children. A child and the love you have, does not replace the other. You can live, start a family and have your child who has passed away. One does not exclude the other and for that reason, some people seek comfort in religion, others celebrate their birthday ... the point is that you find a hole in your life that helps you to move on and that, although there may be moments that remember you sadness is not the overflowing crying or the general apathy that you suffered.
- Face it without damaging your self-esteem: Common thoughts such as that appear at that moment from "I am worth nothing" or "I will never be able to recover" can harm us enormously and are thoughts that arise as a result of grief at a certain moment. Therefore, you should not allow yourself to be guided by them or consider them valid as they incapacitate you and do not allow you to advance. At a time like this, your world and your values turn upside down and you have to start with yourself, if you had not done it before, now it is necessary that you discover the person you currently are as the one you want to become.
- Don't force yourself and focus on taking small steps: Getting over a loss takes time, and that means both your mind and body need to rebuild. Each person lives and feels grief in a different way and that is why it is difficult to specify a time to face it. You need to recover not only mentally but also physically, since other symptoms are associated with grief such as exhaustion, apathy, lack of concentration, lack of appetite, headaches ... Physical symptoms that must also be taken into account and perhaps it is to recover that physical health it can be a good start to begin to overcome the loss. Although the passage of time can mitigate the initial symptoms and it is possible to achieve some emotional balance, it does not always happen for everyone. If after a few months the pain is still very intense, perhaps it is important that you go to a specialist to be able to talk about it more carefully and that they give you certain tools.
You can read more articles similar to Grieving mother. How to cope with the loss of a child, in the Death in Place category.