It is very common for our son to behave "badly" at home: he answers, he does not obey, etc. On the other hand, in other contexts outside the family environment they speak wonders of the little one: he is polite and respectful.
As we already know, depending on the context with which children interact, their way of relating to adults and their peers may vary. The great capacity of observation that children have helps them to understand very well how they should behave with the different people and contexts with which they interact. Thus, it may happen that, children who behave well at school, behave badly at home, what to do in these cases?
It is more normal than we can imagine to see this duality of children's behavior in different contexts. When challenging behavior occurs, the child is frustrated or aggressive both verbally and physically at home but not in other settings such as at school, the causes of why these behaviors must be evaluated. In doing so, the age and developmental stage of the child must be taken into account.
- Sometimes it happens because at school the rules are clearer and consequences have been established for when they do not do what corresponds; while at home it is not. In other words, there are “not strict” limits at home. Neither constant nor consistent. Permissiveness, lack of authority and a long time children alone can be some of the causes. In this case, the child learns to maintain his "bad behavior" before the inconsistency of guidelines at home, sure that in the end, his parents will give in to his wishes.
- Other times the opposite may happen, that is, at home you are too strict, demanding or inflexible with children, And high expectations can lead to bad behavior. You may feel less pressure at school.
- They may also be making a wake-up call. It can be especially true when you have multiple children, so parents should be fair to everyone, give them equal opportunities and understand their emotional needs and care for them individually. If this exclusivity does not exist, the children will seek attention, even in a negative way, in the end the children achieve their goal: that their parents stop doing whatever it takes to scold them.
The first thing parents have to do before acting impulsively is stop and think and find the causes that cause their children to behave differently in different contexts. Once the causes have been focused ...
- It is important reach a consensus at home on what limits (better if they are few and clear) are considered important and develop a common 'strategy' to all members and caregivers of the family, which they can implement consistently and firmly at home to show the child that their behavior must be appropriate to the rhythm of the family.
- It is also significant that rreceive more attention on positive than negative. That is, instead of punishing them when they don't behave, explain that when they yell, hit, or yell, you won't pay attention to them. And, instead, when their behavior is correct, they will be by their side and they will pay attention.
Finally, parents have to be clear that if their children misbehave at home and well at school, it does not imply that it is their fault. These types of difficulties require frequent specialist consultations.
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