Parents want our children to be obedient and good and to listen to us the first time without asking; but, at the same time, we seek children who are independent, creative and free, something that seems a contradiction.
Perhaps we should make a reflection: Do we really want our children to obey all their lives orshould we raise more annoying kids?
"Child stop bothering with the ball, child that is not said, that is not done, that is not touched" Thus begins an old song by Joan Manuel Serrat, to describe how we want to model our children to immerse them in our society. A society that does not want annoying individuals, who go outside the norms, or question the pre-established systems.
We parents pull our hair every time the child does not pick up his room after asking ten times, does not come to dinner because he is playing in the room, or turns a deaf ear every time we call him to do homework; definitely, we don't want annoying kids. We want them to respond every time we call them without questioning any of our decisions or commands, that have blind obedience and that respect authority, that is to say: to us, their parents, because we believe that we are in possession of the truth provided that we know what we are doing, something that should also be considered (perhaps in another article).
Nevertheless, we got the message wrong that we are giving the child in the moment that we fight to be independent, to think for himself, we ask him to be responsible and not depend so much on us; but then what do we really want from him? When should you be obedient and when should you be independent?
Given this perspective, it is normal for children disregard our advice, as we are constantly sending them contrary messages.
But do we really want our children to grow up as submissive people who do not question anything in life, or we should raise more annoying kids? I, for my part, am completely against raising my daughters to be let society carry you, by the majority or by what "is right to do."
I want the established systems, authority and se state the reasons of how the world works and why. I do not want anti-system girls, but I do want critical girls with their own decisions and with a defined personality, and if that means that my daughters are more “annoying” for me in this childhood stage, it is something I will have to assume.
That doesn't mean that I let them do whatever they want, and neglect their education, If not the opposite. Raising children who are capable of reasoning and wondering the whys is more difficult than raising submissive and complacent children.
This type of education must be based on mutual trust, dialogue, explanations and love. It is much more difficult to give reasons for correct a wrong attitude to punish for it and, above all, much more tired. And, as a human mother that I am, there may be days when I forget all my good intentions as an educator and leave the dictator mother that we all carry inside, but I will do everything possible so that my side Mr. Hyde comes out as little as possible.
Lack of time makes many times not let's dedicate all the patience and effort necessary for our children to learn in the correct way, but we want quick corrections, even if they are less effective in the long term, such as punishments.
In addition, it is proven that obedient children are less happy than disobedient children, less creative and more introverted. Disobedient children are freer, although they have to bear the consequences of their way of being for the rest of their lives, but also they will live with more intensity and they will become more confident people.
So, I want to encourage desperate mothers like me, whose children are not as obedient as they should be, not to despair, as they will surely have children with more critical sense than the rest.
You can read more articles similar to Why We Should Raise More Annoying Children, in the category of Conduct on site.