Boosting the self-esteem of our children is important so that they can establish relationships of trust and respect with others. Only then can they respect, accept and love those around them. Very interesting the manual that the teacher Maria Marta Castro Martin, specialist in early and adequate stimulation, from Appropriate stimuli, a website about self-esteem.
In her manual, she highlights four important conditions for enhancing children's self-esteem:
- To acceptthat the son or daughter is another person independent and different from us, and very valuable. We must accept them even if their characteristics are not what we wanted them to be.
- Educate the children in a context of well defined and firm limits. Children need to feel and perceive that we care, and not that we are indifferent to them. The limits must be fair, reasonable and negotiable. Unlimited freedom or authoritarianism is not worth it. An authority must be exercised that listens, attends, negotiates, and also sanctions non-compliance with the rules.
- What is respecting children? It is listening to their wishes, attending to their needs, and negotiating the rules of the house. It does NOT mean letting them do what they want. Permissiveness destroys effort, discipline, self-control, responsibility, and self-confidence.
- If he parental self-esteem level is high, the same is more likely to happen with your children's. The importance of loving yourself is also passed on. Fathers and mothers are models of learning, important and necessary for the child to start his journey starting from good examples to imitate. Love, acceptance and respect are the three basic pillars on which an ideal safe environment for a child is based.
According to the manual that I recommend, for parents to achieve high self-esteem in their children, it is necessary:
1- Be clear that your child is another person, independent and different.
2- Offer you a coherent security, between what is taught and what is done.
3- Make him feel like a unique and irreplaceable person.
4- Love and show your joy at having him as a child. Touching, kissing, caressing him, always, at any stage.
5- Accept and respect your child as he is.
6- Set limits for your child.
7- Offer norms and expectations regarding their behavior and performance.
8- Praise and criticize the conduct and behavior of your child, never his person.
9- Avoid the use of negative language.
10- Motivate and encourage decision-making and responsibilities for your child.
11- Do not deprive your child of making mistakes. DO NOT overprotect him.
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