One of the The most constant and repeated complaints that parents make is: "my son does not listen to me when I speak to him". Whether we ask them to clean up their room, come to dinner, shower, or get ready for school, it seems our words don't reach them, they get lost somewhere between our throats and their ears. Time to change this!
There are children with ADD, ADHD, Asperger's or Oppositional Defiant Disorder who find it harder than other children to attend to what their parents say or ask for. But it is not an isolated event in children with some type of disorder, in general, almost all children do not listen when we speak to them. However, this can change.
1. Ask them achievable goals: picking up the toys is an easy request to fulfill even for the little ones if we make it easier for them by placing baskets or boxes, however, they may not be able to dress themselves yet and they need you to be there to tell them what to do or give them a hand if they can't get their socks on properly.
2. Talk to him directly: it is not worth that we are in the kitchen shouting: "go to the shower yaaaaaa". We cannot say that my son does not listen to me if what we do is shout from another room. We have to stop what we are doing, go next to the child, look him in the eye, get at his height and try to avoid distractions around him, such as the television or the tablet. When we see that they are listening, that is when we have to give them the guidelines or tasks to be carried out.
3. Don't yell: the constant shouting blocks children, if the intention is that they listen to us, the only thing we will achieve is to paralyze them and that they do not understand well what we want from them. Have you ever seen your son looking at you with a questioning face while you screamed? A direct order, firm but without shouting, clear and concise, is more effective.
4. Don't give multiple orders at the same time: "Come put on your sneakers, go do your homework and take those toys from the classroom" ... That we parents are always constantly multitasking, does not mean that our children can do it. It is most effective when we give them a task first, and wait for them to finish it before giving them the next.
5. Listen to your children: it is the so recurrent being an example for children, it is the pillar of education, if we do not listen to them, we can hardly ask them to do so.
6. Use a sense of humor: It is true that it is not easy to do it when our day to day is so stressful, but it is not impossible either. If you try, you will see that it is much more effective when our children do not listen to us, to resort to jokes. Encourage the attention and goodwill of children. For example: "Juan, cows fly, fish can live out of water, you have to clean up your room. Only one is true and you have to do it now" or put a couple of post-its on the shirt with the task written on them and walk in front of him.
7. Employ affection: When we turn to "no" constantly, when we scream non-stop or when we are in a bad mood, children react worse than if we speak to them with love, with a smile or give them a caress while asking for something. The answer is very different when we apply affection and not bad manners.
8. Resort to educational consequences: If we have put everything into practice and our son continues to ignore us, there is no choice but to resort to consequences. We will firmly tell our son that if he does not stop jumping on the couch, if he does not leave his sister alone or if he continues playing and does not go to the shower, he will not be able to see the pictures later, or he will not have the toys to play . They must be reasonable consequences, which are carried out immediately and, of course, we have to carry them out.
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